1-24  The First Twenty-Four
25-48  The Second Twenty-Four
49-72  The Third Twenty-Four
73-96  The Fourth Twenty-Four
97-120  The Fifth Twenty-Four
121-144  The Sixth Twenty-Four
145-168  The Seventh Twenty-Four
169-on  The Eighth Twenty-Four

One Sunday In Perry
What the Army Taught Me
Not My Mother's Shopping List
Brain Calisthenics
The Pono Nano Diet
Oatmeal Jim-Jams
A Walk in the Park
Escape to California
10  Printer's Devil
11  Pono - The Addict
12  Monkeypodarrhea
13  Love in the Woods
14  It's a Small World
15  Culinary Crutches
16  We Want Sandin
17  Better With Age
18  Parallel Universes
19  Mårten Nilsson Finne
20  Hawaii Is A State
21  Shake-em-up Flashlight
22  The Use of E-mail
23  Normal American Schoolboy
24  Lake Gogebic Early Days




Hawaii is one of the United States of America, having been admitted as the 50th state on August 21, 1959.  By many standard measures Hawaii is well down the list of states.  We aren’t that big, we aren’t that populous, our GDP is small (although we do beat several states), but we are a state!  As such, we deserve to be relieved from some of the second class citizen attitudes and practices that prevail.

How many times have I studied an on-line purchase, finally made a decision, filled out the order information, only to encounter “except HI” in the shipping part of the process.  Once when HI was included, I found that HI addresses had to pay 1-day rates for 2-day service.  The box of previously frozen food from Michigan arrived on the evening of the 4th day, and was barely “cool to the touch”.  Don’t try this in the summertime!

I take a monthly magazine that lists astronomical events each month.  It is the rare month that the magazine gets here before at least some of the events have already occurred.  Late arrivals are not restricted to magazines.  Most of the offers I get in the mail don’t interest me anyway so it doesn’t bother me that I have missed the deadline for response by the time I get the letter.  However, I would like a chance at the $1M subscription service prize now and then.  And of course, HI residents can forget the “first xxx to respond” bonuses.

National news always gives the average gas price in the US and the cities with the lowest and highest price.  Our price is always higher than the highest noted.  Occasionally they will grudgingly admit that Honolulu is the highest, but Maui is always higher than that, and poor Lana'i is always higher than Maui, and Hana is always higher than Maui in general.

Hawaii is one of those civilized places that doesn’t fiddle with the clocks twice a year.  This is a great advantage to businesses and anyone whose life is time-driven.  However, those who schedule television programming cannot cope with our stability.  Starting times for events are usually stated in Eastern time regardless of where they occur (even here).  Over time we get accustomed to adjusting and learn which TV stations present events as they occur (live) and which delay broadcasts.  When daylight savings time comes or goes all bets are off.  It takes weeks for the station that shows schedules, the stations that film events and the stations that actually show them to get back on the same page.

Clocks - HST, PST, EST

Time also factors into national elections.  With the speed of communications today and the propensity of the networks to call winners early, elections are usually over long before our polls are closed.  I can’t help but wonder how many HI voters don’t bother to go to the polls after work when they hear the “results” on the radio as they leave work.

Mainland tourists who visit us (bless their big fat wallets) are notorious for their insults.  They are always talking about how they do things “in the states”, where they live “in the states”, and how on Friday they are returning to “the states”.  Hey untanned one, you ARE in the states!

US maps rarely show HI.  When they do, they put us in the Gulf of Mexico or even where Mexico should be.  Because of the limited land area of HI, it is often impossible to determine HI’s status on maps that are colorized to show one attribute or another (think red-blue states).  Often this problem is solved by showing HI in a grossly larger scale than that of the mainland.  I can imagine that every second child has a warped idea of where and how big HI really is!

Typical US map

The so-called national weather forecasts track every obscure cloud that leaves Africa heading for North America, but doesn’t recognize any part of the US after the west coast.  Unless we are up to our earballs in some weather system, not one word is given to Hawaiian weather.  Now if we were where the map shows us, maybe we’d get some attention!  By the way, we are hoping to get funding from the new administration for a tiny bridge from Louisiana to Kaua’i.

A rather large state on the west coast of the mainland recently announced that they were putting a surcharge on every container loaded on a ship destined for HI.  Now, they don’t do this to their other neighbors, even though one of them is a foreign country, so why treat us differently?

The discrimination problem apparently has layers.  Mainlanders discriminate against HI in general, but lately I’ve seen commercials for big chain fast food places that give O’ahu prices and then say “prices higher on neighbor islands”.  Where is the GOOD neighbor policy?

Surprisingly, HI is a part of the Interstate Highway System, even though not one of those highways traverse more than one state.  Even here, however, exceptions exist.  HI interstates are designated as H-1, etc. instead of the usual I-number.  Also, interstate highways are only on the island of O’ahu.

HI is fast becoming a major player in the genetically modified organism (GMO) industry.  I read the other day that a reason for this is that being small, and being in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the accidental “escape” of a GMO can be easily controlled.  Yeah, if it happens on Maui, we can just nuke the entire island and not lose that many people.  I’ll bet that even after that, the mongoose will come roaring back and I wouldn’t be surprised if a few tourists come crawling out ready to sue the State Government.  We won’t let them though, until they stand up in public and say “Hawaii is one of the United States of America!” three times with cameras recording everything!

I love Hawaii in monkeypods



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